GARDEN PARTIES
by Anon
The Young Englishwoman (August 1875)
Having come to that break in the social year when entertainments cease to be given in town, and the scene of social gatherings is removed into the country, far away from London, there could scarcely be a more suitable time for redeeming the promise made at the request of several of our readers, to give a few suggestions respecting the successful management of garden parties.
We are all familiar with that terrible spirit of dullness, which often, in spite of the most untiring exertions of the hostess and her household, creeps over some parties. We remember the suppressed yawns for an hour before the carriages which were to convey the guests to their homes began to come round, and our mutual congratulations on finding ourselves outside our host’s entrance gates, and on the high road to the shelter of our own roof-tree. In many instances the fault lies with the hostess and her defective arrangements, but in country neighbourhoods, where "sets" exist, and a spirit of exclusiveness prevails, she is frequently the victim of a social state over which she has no control.
Garden parties are of two classes, i.e., those in the neighbourhoods of large towns, where every foot of ground is a matter of serious consideration, and those in the country, where, in a wide demesne, nature has had the aid of art to make the locality convenient as well as beautiful. In the first, the hostess has the adventitious aid of experienced tradesmen, which is not to be despised. House rent in London is so high that many people, who have a large visiting list, are obliged to be contented with small reception-rooms; therefore, should they desire to discharge all their social obligations at once, a garden party seems the most feasible undertaking. A marquee erected, in which the contractor will even lay down a boarded floor suitable for dancing upon if required, at a few hours’ notice, provides a large drawing-room. The florist comes in and makes beautiful every corner of the house with flowers; the confectioner sends in the supper, including plate, china, glass, and waiters; the band comes at the proper hour, and leaves off when it is time for people to take their leave; and the hostess need only fill up cheques for the tradesmen’s bills, when all is over. Even guests in London are more easily managed than those in the provinces, for they are too well accustomed to such entertainments to expect exciting amusements, and too conventional to show how dull they sometimes find the most brilliant-looking assemblage.
The country hostess, on the other hand, must rely altogether upon her own resources - her own cook, her own attendants, her own gardener; and even for music, if she desire to have it, she must be indebted to amateur friends. But she has her consolations in the space at her disposal. If there be an archery club in the neighbourhood, she can set up targets; she can have one or two sets of croquet players at work at one time; she can have her Badminton ground likewise; and her lawn tennis - sphairistike, as it is called - by setting up another Badminton net, and substituting tennis balls for shuttle-cocks.
It is almost needless to remark that "Aunt Sally," once popular in the early days of Christy Minstrelism, is now tabooed in all decent society; on a racecourse it might be tolerated, but not where ladies and gentlemen assemble.
The secret of a successful garden party is to make every one feel as comfortable and as much at home as possible. Why should a lady who never suffers from ennui at home while walking in her own grounds, look, while in her neighbour’s, as if she were the victim of some deep social conspiracy, intended eventually to crush her? Attention by the hostess to the minor details of her party, more than the conception of a grand scheme, is the only way to exorcise this evil spirit, and keep it from affecting her guests, individually and collectively.
First. - She should think of everything possible to be provided which will tend to the comfort of her friends, remembering that there is no pleasure where comfort is absent.
Second.- Never to aim at stylish effects of which she may have heard or read, only making such arrangements as her own servants may be safely trusted to carry out. To keep within their powers, rather than tax them to the uttermost, is wise legislation.
Third. - Whatever refreshment be given, to let it be the best of its kind.
Fourth. - To think of all the little details which are necessary to be attended to some days previously, and write them down.
Long invitations in the country are often necessary, as ladies may wish to provide themselves with special dresses, and in case of a sudden spell of wet weather a few days’ postponement might be desirable. The hour named must vary according to the distance which the guests have to travel. In London from five o’clock till eight is usual. In the country two or three o’clock till seven is more suitable.
Though the invitations suggest an out-of-door entertainment, it is absolutely essential to have the sitting-rooms of the house prepared for company, as, even if the weather continue fine, there are always elderly people and invalids who are unable to remain out of doors. The maid who takes charge of the ladies’ cloak-room should be given a liberal supply of light mufflers - knitted shawls, bournouse cloaks, etc., for those who may not have calculated on a chilly evening, or standing in an exposed situation. This is one of the details to be attended to previously by the hostess. It is desirable that the pleasure-ground should be as little removed from the drawing-room windows as possible, to avoid separating those within from those without, and the windows kept open if no one decidedly objects. Within, there ought to be a liberal display of flowers, prints, photographs, and pretty things of all kinds, with which the elderly people can amuse themselves, or which are likely to suggest subjects of conversation. As the hostess must be in-and-out-and-everywhere, it would be impossible for her to devote her attentions exclusively to any one section of her company. Out in the grounds forethought also is necessary. Seats are indispensable, and besides the usual iron chairs, portable ones ought to be scattered about in every direction. Neale’s patent chairs of stained pine, with carpet seats, easily folded, and so light that a child can carry them, are now de rigueur for croquet and Badminton grounds. They only cost about six or seven shillings each, and yield comfort worth double the money. They can be had from the patentee in the Strand, but can be procured through any furnishing shop. Neat little umbrella tents of canvas are also used at garden parties, large enough to shelter a group of single seats, or a long chair which holds three or four people.
The matter of refreshments is one which must be regulated by the special circumstances of each case.
Should the guests come from a long distance, a cold collation is expected, and if the dining-room be large enough, it gives a greater appearance of comfort to serve it there. Through the evening this must be followed by tea and coffee, which is either made out of doors, or carried out by servants, and served at intervals. A conservatory, or marquee, or a summer-house may be turned to good account for tea-making, and it is often a pleasing diversion to people who like moving about, to saunter in search of refreshment, instead of having it carried to them. N.B. The dowagers in the drawing-room must on no account be overlooked in the distribution of bohea.
But if the guests come from the immediate neighbourhood, being supposed to have lunched at home, the refreshment may be of a lighter character, and the entertainment more al fresco, by avoiding the dining-room. In that case tea, coffee, ices, fruit, cake, etc., are considered sufficient, with sherry, claret cup, lemonade, etc., which ought to be iced.
If the gathering partake more of the sociable than the formal character, the guests adjourn late in the evening to the house, and have a little music. There are always some young ladies who are glad to contribute to the general amusement. In the country, an impromptu quadrille is occasionally attempted; for, as the guests live in the same neighbourhood, previous acquaintance is supposed. In London, to conclude a party thus would be considered exceedingly bad style. Long before such an idea could be broached, carriages ordered for a certain hour draw up, and there is a general exodus. Nor is there often music by amateurs; a band plays out-of-doors, and professional singers favour the company with a few songs, for which they are paid. In the country such an arrangement would be absurd, and a hostess attempting more than the inspiriting music of a band to play in her grounds would justly be covered with ridicule.
Much grumbling is abroad at the prevailing tendency to make croquet an ultra-scientific game; however families may choose, when by themselves, to play severely, with the narrow square hoops, or perhaps with tunnels under the hoops, it is bad taste to inflict it upon strangers. The young ladies of the house - supposing there should be such - already enjoy considerable advantage by playing upon their own grounds; but a proper sense of the duties of hospitality will keep this in their remembrance, and control their actions. The same remarks apply to the targets for archery, the distance of which ought to be regulated by general consent so far as it can be ascertained. Nothing so insures a display of good taste as the existence of an undercurrent of good feeling; and while people are good-naturedly indulgent to anything unusual which provides for their comfort, the sharpest criticism most surely follows pretension, or aiming at some novelty of which, peradventure, the lady has only heard or read.
An ambitious hostess, who had been told that iced coffee was en règle, ordered her cook to prepare some, and to make it on the morning of the party. The cook, being as new to the idea as her mistress, obeyed. She made the coffee, and took care to add the ice in good time - while the coffee was boiling. The mistress, exceedingly indignant at her stupidity, rated her soundly, made a fresh supply herself, and left it to cool. Alas! for the aspirant to style, she made café au lait instead of café noir, all unconscious that only the latter may be served cold, and that it is not usual for ladies to consume unlimited cups of a beverage, one-fourth of which is brandy or liqueur. So the cold coffee was voted detestable, and no one was pleased.
Another incident - it happened a few years ago during our last very wet summer - illustrates a course directly opposite to that pursued by the hostess of the icy coffee. A lady, let us call her Mrs. Blank, whose husband had amassed a considerable fortune in commercial pursuits, aspired to higher society. She had been born in a social rank above that of the man she had married. She stood upon that debatable land which borders high and middle life; one step might send her forward up to the highest step of the social ladder, but one little mistake, and she might be relegated to city circles once more. At this crisis she gave, at her husband’s country seat in the neighbourhood of London, a garden party. She had been liberal and generous towards the pet charities of a noble lady, not remotely allied to royalty, and, in consideration, an invitation, tremblingly issued, was accepted. But scarcely had the guests assembled, when a thunderstorm of more than usual severity reduced the lawn and pleasure-grounds to a state of a wet sponge. The guests crowded into the house, looked at the grass, and privately each one determined to get away as soon as possible. But Mrs. Blank decided otherwise. She telegraphed for a supply of India-rubber overshoes; the response was prompt, and they came in time. Astonishment kept some silent, and others resolved when they left the house, to say, "How vulgar!" But the noble lady had a soul above such consideration. "How sensible!" she cried, and held out her foot to be fitted. "How sensible!" cried every one in chorus, and Mrs. Blank's party was a great and lasting success. This year she is seen at Marlborough House, is among the exclusives at Prince's, and the fashionable papers describe her dresses.
Nor is any one daring enough to call her parties, like the other lady's coffee, detestable; for she not only knows how to make people comfortable, but does so thoroughly.
To aspire to court circles is not the highest aim in life, and few there be who need study the matter with such an end in view. But it is the spirit and not the letter in which entertainments are given which matters, and it is quite as much required for every-day life as it is in giving successful garden parties.